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Jedi in Tython

Parody of Niggas in Paris - Jay-Z & Kanye West
Original here. Instrumental here.
Obi-Wan and Anakin/Vader rap Jedi in Tython



[Jay-Z:]
So I ball so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me
First niggas gotta find me
What’s 50 grand to a muhfucka like me
Can you please remind me?
Ball so hard, this shit crazy
Y’all don’t know that don’t shit phase me
The Nets could go 0-82 and I look at you like this shit gravy
Ball so hard, this shit weird
We ain’t even s’pose to be here,
Ball so hard, since we here
It’s only right that we be fair
Psycho, I’m liable to go Michael
Take your pick, Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, Game 6
Ball so hard, got a broke clock, Rolleys that don’t tick tock
Audemars that’s losing time, hidden behind all these big rocks
Ball so hard, I’m shocked too, I’m supposed to be locked up too
you escaped what I’ve escaped
You’d be in Paris getting fucked up too
Ball so hard, let’s get faded, Le Meurice for like 6 days
Gold bottles, scold models, spillin’ Ace on my sick J’s
So ball so hard, bitch behave, just might let you meet Ye,
Chi towns D. Rose, I’m movin’ the Nets to BK

[Hook]
[x2]
Ball so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me
That shit cray [x3]

[Kanye West]
She said Ye can we get married at the mall?
I said look you need to crawl ‘fore you ball
Come and meet me in the bathroom stall
And show me why you deserve to have it all
Ball so hard
That shit cray, ain’t it Jay?
Ball so hard
What she order, fish filet
Ball so hard
Your whip so cold, this old thing
Ball so hard
Act like you’ll never be around muhfuckas like this again
Bougie girl, grab her hand
Fuck that bitch she don’t wanna dance
Excuse my French but I’m in France (I’m just sayin’)
Prince William’s ain’t do it right if you ask me
Cause I was him I would have married Kate & Ashley
What's Gucci my nigga?
What's Louie my killa?
What's drugs my deala?
What's that jacket, Margiela?
Doctors say I’m the illest
Cause I’m suffering from realness
Got my niggas in Paris
And they going gorillas, huh!

[(Chazz) & Jimmy]
I don't even know what that means.
(No one knows what it means, but it's provocative)
No, it's not
(It gets the people going!)

[Jay-Z]
Ball so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me
Ball so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me

[Kanye West]
You are now watching the throne
Don’t let me get in my zone [x3]
These other niggas is lyin’
Actin’ like the summer ain’t mine

[Jay-Z]
I got that hot bitch in my home

[Kanye West]
You know how many hot bitches I own
Don’t let me get in my zone [x4]
The stars is in the building
They hands is to the ceiling
I know I’m bout to kill it
How you know, I got that feeling
You are now watching the throne
Don’t let me into my zone [x2]

[Jay-Z & Kanye West]
I’m definitely in my zone


I know there was a Star Wars song last year (Queen medley?) but I think this is sufficiently different. It would have to be very high energy. It's also not one for the true fans, given the time difference (i.e. Obi-Wan references his death before Anakin becomes Vader in the song) as well as the prequel content. Worth a go? Could be fun. It's all pretty dumb. Also, there's far too much swearing, but I can't come up with a good replacement for mother fucker.






[Obi-Wan:]
So I force so hard mother-fuckers wanna fine me
First Sith gotta find me
What's death to a mother-fucker like me
Can you please remind me?
Force so hard, this shit crazy
Y'all know that Vader don't phase me
Light saber through the chest and I look at you like this shit gravy
Force so hard this Jedi weird
I ain't even suppose be here
Force so hard, since I'm here
It's only right that we be fair
Psycho, I'm liable to go Jedi
Take your pick, Qui-Gon, Yoda, Windu, ANAKIN (Anakin comes onstage/is revealed)
Force so hard, got a mind trick, not the droids you look for
Stormtrooper losing us, hidden behind this psychic wall
Force so hard, I'm shocked too, I'm supposed to be dead too
You escaped what I escaped
You be chasin' Leia too (Puts arm around Leia, who looks disgusted)
Force so hard, let's go crazy, Tatooine for like 6 days
Smugglers, aliens, spillin' drink on my sick robe (plucks chest of robe, Eminem style)
Force so hard, wookie behave, just might let you near Lei (Blocks Chewy as he moves towards Leia)
Move this party to Alderaan, let's blow up this globe (Death Star destroys planet in background)

[Hook]
[x2]
Force so hard muhfuckers wanna fine me
That shit cray

[Anakin]
She said Anny can we get married on Naboo?
I said look, you need to put out or we through
Come and meet me in the flower field
Show me why you need this hand I wield (Holds out metal hand in crudely suggestive fashion)
Force so hard
That shit crazy, ain't it Obi?
Force so hard
What you want, Natalie?
Force so hard
Your face so cold, this old thing
Force so hard
Act like you'll never be around midi-chlorian like this again
Princess girl, grab her hand
Forget that chick, don't wanna do
Excuse my lust but I wanna Nab on you (Another crude gesture)
Little Luke ain't do it right if you ask me
If I was him I woulda kept it up with Lee
What's Jedi my master?
What's light speed my blaster?
What's Force, my pastor?
What's that sugar, castor?
Doctors say I'm the Chosen
Cause I'm cooler than frozen
Got my Jedi in Tython (Apparently Jedi homeworld, EU stuff)
And they all going python, huh

(Blades of Glory sample, replace with soundbite from films?)

[Obi-Wan]
Force so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me
Force so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me

[Anakin/Vader]
You are now watching the throne
Don't let me get in my zone [x3] (Voice changes to Vader, character change)
These other Sith are lying
Acting like the Empire ain't mine

[Obi-Wan]
You were supposed to be the Chosen One

[Vader]
You pitiful fool, Obi-Wan
Don't let me get in my zone [x4]
Stormtroopers in the building
They hands is to the ceiling
I know I'm bout to kill it
How you know, I got that feeling
You are now watching the throne
Don’t let me into my zone [x2]

[Obi-Wan and Vader]
I'm/You're definitely in my/your zone (Vader kills Obi-Wan)

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