Based on the song Agony from Into the Woods by Sondheim. I know it's not exactly "popular music" but I like the idea and it's actually a freaking excellent song. Sung as a duet between two hipsters. Original Lyrics: [CINDERELLA'S PRINCE] Did I abuse her Or show her disdain? Why does she run from me? If I should lose her, How shall I regain The heart she has won from me? Agony! Beyond power of speech, When the one thing you want Is the only thing out of your reach. [RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE] High in her tower, She sits by the hour, Maintaining her hair. Blithe and becoming and frequently humming A lighthearted air: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- Agony! Far more painful than yours, When you know she would go with you If there only were doors. [BOTH] Agony! Oh, the torture they teach! [RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE] What's as intriguing- [CINDERELLA'S PRINCE] Or half so fatiguing- [BOTH] As what's out of reach? [CINDERELLA'S PRINCE] Am I not sensitive, Clever, Well-mannered, Considerate, Passionate, Charming, As kind as I'm handsome And heir to a throne? [RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE] You are everything maidens could wish for! [CINDERELLA'S PRINCE] Then why no-? [RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE] Do I know? [CINDERELLA'S PRINCE] The girl must be mad! [RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE] You know nothing of madness Till you're climbing her hair And you see her up there AS you're nearing her, All the while hearing her: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- [BOTH] Agony! [CINDERELLA'S PRINCE] Misery! [RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE] Woe! [BOTH] Though it's different for each. [CINDERELLA'S PRINCE] Always ten steps behind- [RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE] Always ten feet below- [BOTH] And she's just out of reach. Agony That can cut like a knife! I must have her to wife. | [HIPSTER 1] Did I confuse her When I told her my name? What's wrong with "Antoiny"? Maybe post-gender Concepts of "urbane" Aren't want she wants from me? (can't she tell it's just) Irony! The one doctrine I'll preach. When a genuine thought, Is the one thing that's out of my reach. [HIPSTER 2] The op shops I scour, And Vinnies devour, For vintage menswear. Murakami I'm plumbing and absently humming A unheard-of air. Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- Irony! Far more poignant than yours! Leaving my ex's skinny jeans On my new girlfriend's floor. [BOTH] Irony! [HIPSTER 2]Tweeting... [HIPSTER 1] - Cicero's speech! [HIPSTER 2] What's as . .. ... .... ..... ...... [HIPSTER 1] Am I not a self-conscious, Shallow, Pretentious, Elitist, Middle-class, Preening, So dull,disaffected Lover of the unknown? [HIPSTER 2] I am everything you are, but before! [HIPSTER 1] Oh how so? [HIPSTER 2] You won't know. [HIPSTER 1] Dude, my moustache looks rad! [HIPSTER 2] You know nothing of 'staches Till you're there in the bar Surrounded, near and far By men's facial hair Playing on your guitar: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- [BOTH] Irony! [HIPSTER 1] Vonnegut! [HIPSTER 2] Poe! [BOTH] What did your high school teach? [HIPSTER 1] Always ten bands in front- [HIPSTER 2] Always ten books above-[BOTH] |
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