2012‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

*Villain/Hero Reunion

HENCHMAN #2: Come on, Doctor Devilish, come on!
VILLAIN: Henchman! I demand to know where you are taking me!
HENCHMAN #2: Oh look, the Smithsonian Museum! Lets go steal some famous american artworks!
VILLAIN: Look Henchman, this is a really evil gesture but I actually have a bunch of work to do on my death ray back at the lair so-
HENCHMAN #2: Is that a giant “M” being projected against the cloudy night sky?!

HENCHMAN #1 entering.

HENCHMAN #1: You’ll never catch me, Lady Marvellous!

HERO entering.

HERO: Stop right there-
VILLAIN: Marvellous.
HERO: Doctor.
HENCHMAN #1: Well what a happy coincidence! I was just escaping from Lady Marvellous!
HENCHMAN #2: Oh boy, I sure hope she doesn’t try to stop us robbing the Smithsonian!
HERO: Devilish it's been years-
VILLAIN: The night I raised the dead in Los Angeles.
HERO: Here we go.
VILLAIN: I must’ve killed and resurrected at least half of the LAPD before you finally showed up.
HERO: I had bigger problems! The world was ending!
VILLAIN: In my zombie apocalypse!
HERO: I was trying to stop an asteroid tearing a hole through the planet! Besides, half the LAPD is hardly big enough to warrant calling an “apocalypse”.
VILLAIN: It’s not the size that counts but how you use it!
HENCHMAN #1: Knock this laser pistol out of my hands, Lady Marvellous!
HENCHMAN #2: Do it before he shoots an innocent bystander!
HENCHMAN #1: Oh no! Looks like this is turning into quite the showdown!

VILLAIN: It’s not that simple, Henchmen. You can’t just start a showdown between a hero and villain. They’re, well, they’re-
HERO: Complicated

VILLAIN: I wouldn't say complicated, they're more-
HERO: Complicated

VILLAIN: God you ALWAYS have to be right don’t you?

HERO: Well I’m a SUPERHERO, Devilish. It’s my job to be right. I right the wrongs in the world!
VILLAIN: Are you calling me all the wrongs in the world?

HERO: If the doomsday device fits!

VILLAIN: It did fit until YOU destroyed it!
HERO: Righting all the wrongs!

VILLAIN: Do my legs count as “wrongs”? Because you righted them right off!
HERO: If only there was a cybernetic replacement to stop your whining.
VILLAIN: That’s it. I’m leaving!
HERO: Fine!

VILLAIN and HERO storm off in opposite directions.

HENCHMAN #1: Stop! Remember when we reanimated the Statue of Liberty?
HENCHMAN #2: Or when we set fire to the arctic tundra?
HENCHMAN #1: Or the Whitehouse? Remember the Whitehouse?!

HERO and VILLAIN stop.

HERO: You had a mind-controlled army of highly-trained secret service agents trying to assassinate the president.
VILLAIN: And you stood in the oval office beating them all to an unconscious pulp with George Washington’s nun-chucks.
HERO: Such a diabolical scheme.
VILLAIN: Such a heroic rescue.
HERO: You think so? I thought it was all the nun-chucks, personally...
VILLAIN: No way! Can you imagine if Captain Canaveral had been the one using them?
HERO: He’d have just got them caught up in his stupid cape.
VILLAIN: What an idiot.
HERO: Devilish I, I...
VILLAIN: Lady Marvelous, stop. Physical invulnerability means never having to say you’re sorry. (pause). However, you WILL be sorry if you can’t make it to Paris in time!

HENCHMEN start to get excited.

HERO: Paris? Wait...The Crown Prince of Europe!
VILLAIN: That’s right, Lady Marvellous! He’s dining atop the Eiffel Tower as we speak! Or should I say...The Eiffel Rocket Ship!
HERO: You’ll never get away with this, Doctor Devilish! I will save the Crown Prince and thwart your evil scheme!

HERO flies off stage.

VILLAIN: I’d like to see you try! Come Henchmen! To the death ray!

VILLAIN flies off stage. HENCHMEN look at each other.


HENCHMAN #1 piggy-backs HENCHMAN #2 off stage as HENCHMAN #2 points the laser wildly and makes pew-pew noises. LIGHTS DOWN.