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Three's a Pantheon

A ROMAN and a GREEK walk onstage.

R: Ave Heroclites

G: Chaire Maximus.

R: What brings you to temple on this most holy of days?

G: Just here to pay my respects to the mighty King of my gods.

R: Well fancy that! So am I shall we pray together?

G: Sounds delightful.

They both fall to their knees in prayer. Zeus walks onstage.

G: Zeus!

R: Jupiter!

G and R look at each other, confused.

Z: Oh dear.

G: Zeus... why does this Roman call you Jupiter?

Z: I can explain.

R: Zeus? Who in mercury's name is Zeus?

G: That's Zeus.

R: No that's Jupiter.

While they talk Zeus tries to sneak off stage.

G: Get back here you two timing son of a bitch!

Z: Don't you dare talk to your god like that!

R: Oh so your his god?

Z: This isn't what it looks like!

G: Then what, praytell is this?

Z: This isn't a competition I have enough room in my heart to be worshipped by the both of you.

G: How long has this been going on?

Z: Well remember when Dionysus threw that crazy party...

R: Wait you were already being worshipped? (to Greek) I'm so sorry I had no idea..

G: Stay out of this you shrine wrecker! (back to Zeus) And you. How dare you. After all the sacrifices I've made in your name, I gave up my career in logic to stay at back at the temple with you!

Z: Hey I never asked you to do that! I cant help it if i'm loved by more than one nation! Its not just me you know everyone is doing it! Hades, Aries, aphrodite,

R: Who?

Z: Pluto, Mercury and Venus

G: *gasp* I cant believe this! You inconsiderate jerks!

R: I can't believe this. I am so sorry, look I'll make up for it I swear. I heard about this nice little religion that's just starting up – it's called christianity and...

RABBI walks onstage.

Rabbi: Stay away from my Yahweh!