A ROMAN and a GREEK walk onstage. R: Ave Heroclites G: Chaire Maximus. R: What brings you to temple on this most holy of days? G: Just here to pay my respects to the mighty King of my gods. R: Well fancy that! So am I shall we pray together? G: Sounds delightful. They both fall to their knees in prayer. Zeus walks onstage. G: Zeus! R: Jupiter! G and R look at each other, confused. Z: Oh dear. G: Zeus... why does this Roman call you Jupiter? Z: I can explain. R: Zeus? Who in mercury's name is Zeus? G: That's Zeus. R: No that's Jupiter. While they talk Zeus tries to sneak off stage. G: Get back here you two timing son of a bitch! Z: Don't you dare talk to your god like that! R: Oh so your his god? Z: This isn't what it looks like! G: Then what, praytell is this? Z: This isn't a competition I have enough room in my heart to be worshipped by the both of you. G: How long has this been going on? Z: Well remember when Dionysus threw that crazy party... R: Wait you were already being worshipped? (to Greek) I'm so sorry I had no idea.. G: Stay out of this you shrine wrecker! (back to Zeus) And you. How dare you. After all the sacrifices I've made in your name, I gave up my career in logic to stay at back at the temple with you! Z: Hey I never asked you to do that! I cant help it if i'm loved by more than one nation! Its not just me you know everyone is doing it! Hades, Aries, aphrodite, R: Who? Z: Pluto, Mercury and Venus G: *gasp* I cant believe this! You inconsiderate jerks! R: I can't believe this. I am so sorry, look I'll make up for it I swear. I heard about this nice little religion that's just starting up – it's called christianity and... RABBI walks onstage. Rabbi: Stay away from my Yahweh! |