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This one time, I was so high...

Two people on a couch sketch. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is playing in the background.

 

1: Ug, Sergeant Peppers. This is such drug addled nonsense!

2: Hey, the human body is capable of some pretty amazing things when helped along a bit.

1: Oh yeah? Drugs don’t help anyone achieve anything.

2: Not so. Remember Jenny? She took some mushrooms one time in Peru, and kissed a llama.

1: That’s not amazing, that’s gross.

2: Well what about Frank? He did cocaine once and wrote a ten thousand word essay in two hours.

1:  That is kind of impress-

2: And Maria! She took acid the other day, fell from 10,000ft and broke the human speed record.

1: I’m pretty sure that’s physically impossible.

2: You just don’t like people who take drugs.

1: Not true! Barry, from down the road, he’s a great guy. He was on ice once.

2: Yeah? See! What did Barry do while on ice?

1: He died.

 

OR, if drug-related deaths are a bit much:

 

2: Yeah? See! What did Barry do while on ice?

1: He slipped and broke his arm in three places.

2: Ah. That must have hurt.

1: Nah, he was so high, he walked the four blocks to the hospital pretending to be a zombie.

 
another suggestion.  It's lame, I know.  It's also unpolished:

2: You just don’t like people who take drugs.

1: Not true! Barry, from down the road, he’s a great guy. He does ice.

2: Yeah? See! What does Barry do while on ice?

1: Figure skating. He works for Disney. They put whole groups of people on ice as company policy or something. I still like them.

2: I think you're confusing the drug Ice with actual, you know ... ice.

1: No, I know what I'm talking about. I asked Barry all about it. Fully grown adults dress up as talking teapots and fish and things and spend two hours whizzing about on skates. They even have flashing lights and music and that, probably to make it seem more like a nightclub. You cannot tell me that isn't drugs.

2: ... Huh.  I never knew.

 

 

 

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