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Bucket

LIZA and HENRY.
(Henry runs on stage. His bucket is leaking)

H: Liza, I need some help!

L: What’s the problem Henry.

H: There’s a hole in my bucket!

L: Wow, that is terrible…

H: I know! I tried patching the hole with straw, but it was too long. I tried cutting the straw but my axe is too blunt. I tried sharpening my axe but the stone was too dry, and I tried fetching water but, well, then this happened.

L: Ok, so your bucket has a hole.

H: Right.

L: And you can’t patch it with straw, because you can’t cut said straw with your axe, which you can’t sharpen because your stone is too dry..

H: Yes. I JUST said that.

L: And you can’t get water?

H: Because my bucket has a hole in it.

L: Wow, a real headscratcher.

H: Yeah I’ve been stuck for days now.

L: But why do you need the bucket in the first place?

H: Weren’t you listening? To wet the stone!

L: Well what if we...

H: DON'T YOU SEE LIZA? I CAN'T FIX THE BUCKET BECAUSE THE TOOLS THAT ARE REQUIRED TO FIX THE HOLE ARE ALSO BROKEN AND THEY REQUIRE THE BUCKET TO BE FIXED.

L: I don’t understand…

H: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? NOW WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DIE OF DEHYDRATION BECAUSE ALL THE TOOLS ARE RUINED AT THE SAME TIME.

L: There's no need to shout-

H: WHICH IS THE MOST INOPPORTUNE OF ALL TIMES FOR ANY OF THEM BE RENDERED INSUFFICIENT AT THEIR JOBS, BECAUSE WE ONLY NEED ONE TO FUNCTION TO FIX THEM ALL. BUT NO! NOW WE CAN'T FIX ANY OF THEM.

L: We could always just wet the stone straight from the brook.

H: WET THE STONE STRAIGHT FROM THE BROOK? WET THE STONE STRAIGHT FROM THE BROOK? WHAT NEXT DEAR LIZA? DEAR LIZA DEAR LIZA? WHAT NEXT DEAR LIZA DEAR LIZA WHAT NEXT? NEXT YOU'LL HAVE US WALKING AROUND WITH BUCKETS ON OUR HEADS, OR TRYING TO CUT THE STRAW WITH THE RAW POWER OF OUR ARMS-

L: Or scissors-

H: OR MAYBE THE ASSISTANCE OF SCISSORS WHICH WE COULD ALSO USE TO CUT THE STRAW. YOU'LL HAVE US BORROWING AN AXE OR BUCKET FROM SOMEONE ELSE, OR EVEN MAYBE NOT BOTHERING ANYONE AT ALL AND INSTEAD OF TAKING THE BUCKET TO THE BROOK, TAKING THE STONE TO THE BROOK, SO WE CAN WET THE STONE, SO WE CAN SHARPEN THE AXE, TO CUT THE STRAW AND FIX THE BUCKET!

L: Those all sound like good ideas.

H: I MAY HAVE OVERREACTED.

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