John: Thanks for saving me Superman. Super: No problem, as a superhero, it's my job to save lives. John: It's a blessing that you can be there to lift semi-trailers off people, return comets to space, and turn back time, feats we regular humans are not capable of. God bless you. Super: Look, I'm hate to bring this up now, but that'll be $10,000. John: What? Super: $10,000. John: Why do you need money? Super: Well, I saved your life. John: But you're a super hero. Super: I have bills to pay like anyone else; the fortress of solitude doesn't support itself. John: But surely the government pays for you to save people lives? Super: Oh no. That wouldn't be very fair on the tax payer now would it. Some people need saving less often than others. Do you have superhero insurance? John: I'm a struggling mother of 2, I can't afford insurance for me and my two children. Super: Well it's a good thing you don't have to pay a superhero insurance tax on top of your regular tax then! John: You wouldn't need to raise taxes, the government should just shift some of the billions of dollars it spends on warfare into supporting superheroes for everyone. Super: But we need that spending to defend ourselves against other countries' superheroes. John: That doesn't make sense. That just sounds like fear mongering. Super: If we give everyone superhero insurance, my prices will have to rise. John: But it's an open market, a scheme of universal herocare- Super: -yes it's an open market, but while there might be more demand, there would still be just as many heroes. John: ... You're right. Super: A system like that would only work if heroes were trainable. John: Like at university institution. Super: Then the government could also subsidise their training. John: You mean like how they support doctors and healthcare to save millions of lives in other first world countries? Super: Exactly. Other countries. God bless America. American National Anthem plays. |
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