The Forbidden Forest – VOLDEMORT and the DEATH EATERS (not specified by name – can share the lines amongst the inevitably large cast)

Voldemort – AVADA KEDAVRA!!

(Harry Dies, Narcissa checks his pulse.)

Narcissa:  He’s dead my lord.

V: I feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

(Voldemort takes off his robe to reveal he is completely naked underneath.)

(Collectively cry of shock from all the Death Eaters.)

D: My Lord I…

D: My Lord…

(Voldemort steps out from behind whatever he was standing behind. He is revealed to have Nagini wrapped around him.)

V: Calm down, it's just Nagini.

D: You are disrobed my lord.

V: I am well aware.

D: But... why?

V: Clothing is a muggle influence! Come, in our moment of triumph, bask in the glory of your wizarding heritage!

D: That’s sick.

V: What do you say? (pulls out his wand)

D: Where did that wand come from?

V: Don't question your master. Full Montius!

(The Death Eater has his robe and torn off.)

V: All of you! You have two choices: Strip or be stripped!

(The crowd of Death Eaters madly scrambles to take off their clothes.)

V: Dispellirobius! Full Montius! Sexy totalis!

(During this commotion Harry Potter wakes up – exits.)

V: See now isn’t this better.

(General murmur of agreement.)

V: What are the specs on that thing?

D:  9 inches – sturdy, unyielding.

V: Wood?

D: Not yet.

V: Very impressive.

Hagrid: Not really.

V: You insolent half-breed!

Hagrid: I suppose you want me to strip too then?

V: Only Wizards may -and must- bask in our pure radiance. That includes Harry. Minions – strip Harry’s corpse.

(V turns to Harry, notices he is gone.)

V: Where did he go? He must be naked to celebrate a moment of triumph!

(A bunch of the main characters walk on stage – all naked.)

Harry: Way ahead of you Voldemort. Kill the snake!

Neville: Yaaaahhh! (rushes at Voldemort with the sword of Gryffindor)

Voldemort: No wait! (covers crotch)

Lights down. Voldemort screams.