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*Nude Sketch - HBO

Nude sketch – HBO

Camera operator 1 – HBO world finance, take 1!

Presenter – While the term ‘world recession’ has become ubiquitous in the finance community, the term ‘recession’ (starts taking off shirt)

Director – CUT! What... what are you doing?

P – Im talking about something really complicated. 

D - So?

P - So then I took my shirt off. 

D - Why?

P - (shrugs) Its protocol. I think it's even in the company charter.

(Assistant Director walks in) ­

AD - She's right. If you're going to guest direct, you should do your research. Did you even look at the HBO charter?

D – You mean this? (AD NODS) It’s a naked woman riding a horse, (AD NODS) and you’ve written ‘charter’ in… is that sharpie?

AD - So you looked at the charter, you just didn’t… understand it?

Camera operator 2 (to AD) - Maybe we need to make the Charter less subtle!

D - That's definitely not the problem.

Intern - Coffee run!

(Intern walks in, naked, carrying 3 cups of coffee in front of his crotch, the middle row covering his junk. Picks up left cup)  

I - Whoops, that’s tea, 

(hand hovers over middle cup, then picks up right)

I - Do you want your coffee?

D – Not anymore!

I – (confused) But... it's definitely got two sweetener in this time.

D – Wait, you're just going to let that slide? You can’t run a set like this! (points at intern). It’s totally unprofessional.

(Two guys walk in. Everyone freezes and watches them man silently for about 5 seconds)

(An alarm goes off on one of the men’s watches)

Man – okay, and thats 7 minutes, we’ve reached the clothed quota! (cast and crew cheer) (everyone starts stripping, more naked people walk in)

D – WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

AD – I told you. It's how we do things. Do we have to go over the charter again?

D – What, no! 

Man. walks in wearing nothing but a crown and a sceptre over his junk

D - Who the hell is that guy?

AD – Leave him alone, he’s just lost. (to the naked man) Game of Thrones is filming on sound stage 6 this week. (man tips his crown as though he’s tipping his hat, then leaves)

D (to presenter) – But this is a documentary about the recession! Surely your audience is one 70 year old stockbroker.

P – And if there weren’t more tits than graphs in this show, even he wouldn’t be watching. Our viewership is up 80% from last year!

D – People are watching this?

P – In droves. We’ve been renewed for a 13 part series. (all cheer)

D – It works?

P – It does.

D – Well, actually, I do have a script that’s been gathering dust... (looks at ceiling like he’s thinking)

Voiceover artist: Next on HBO: David Attenborough – Conservationist, Humanitarian... Lover?

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