2012‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Banking-submitted by Chad using andrews account

Banking: (by Chad O’Neill

Teller: Good morning sir how can i help you?
Customer: I was hopping to make a deposit (hands over cash)

Teller: I see... unfortunately sir we cant accept this as legal tender. Im terribly sorry about that. Is there anything else i can do for you?

Customer: Ah i see. Well you don’t by chance give out loans do you? Teller: We certainly do what did you need the loan for?

Customer: I am planing on erecting a greenhouse and i was wondering if i could get a loan for say $200?

Teller: Certainly sir, ill just have to check your credit history. One moment please. (types on keyboard like little britain)

Teller: Sir im sorry to say that according to my computer you have defaulted on a number of you utility payments...

Customer: Well.. well what about some other way of funding please im desperate

Teller: Well sir i am really sorry but it also seems that you have mortgaged all of your property and until you iron out your credit issues my hands are tied

Customer: This is grossly unfair! It took me two hours to get here cause they haven’t finished connecting the new train lines and then i waited patiently in line until it was my turn to now be sent away!!

Teller: Im going to have to ask you to calm down otherwise i am going to call security you are causing a disturbance

Customer: Yeah im causing a disturbance and rightly so! I mean what qualifies you to decide who gets what, who appointed you to be banker?

Teller: Sir no one appointed me the position was vacant and i took it. This is getting out of hand GUARD GUARD!!

Guard: (walks in a proceeds to restrain the customer)

Customer: This is an outrage that other customer walked out of here with literally a wheelbarrow of cash i demand to be treated fairly

Guard: Sir you are going to have to come with me to the station
Customer: What about my $200 loan??
Guard: You are going straight to jail and will not be able to collect your $200 Customer: (draws a card from his pocket) wait but i have this!!

Guard: (reading card) ‘A get out of jail free card’ really sir what do you think this is? The game of Life? Come on (drags customer away)