2012‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

It's simple, we kill the Joker

A high-class social event is being held hostage by the Joker.

Joker: HAHAHA! Run, run, run!

Batman jumps in from the shadows and lands a punch on the Joker, knocking him to the ground.

Batman: This has gone on long enough Joker, time to put you back in the madhouse.

Joker: I'm already here (laughs maniacally)

The two get into a fight while the socialites look on. One of socialites steps forward.

Socialite: Sorry, I - (Batman gets the Joker in a headlock) I was just wondering if - (Batman starts viciously beating the Joker) I was just wondering if I could have a go at him?

The two pause to look at him. The Joker is still in a headlock.

Joker: You?! (maniacal giggle) What are you going to do? TALK me to death?! HAHAHA!

Socialite: Well, actually -

Batman: If you've got an idea go ahead. (releases Joker from the Headlock)

Socialite: (to the Joker) Look, it's just that I GET you. I get why you're funny.

Batman: What?

Joker: Haha! I like you. I think I'll shoot you last.

Socialite: You see, I'm a professor of comedy at Gotham University, and I've been analysing your humour. You're basically just the antithesis of the order and civility Gotham City exemplifies.

Joker: Yeah?

Batman: I'm confused.

Socialite: Remember when you burned that big pile of money? Well that was meant to be a symbol parodying your nature as a crime lord, your rejection of the stereotypical reward for your actions showed Batman that the two of you did fit into any hero/villain paradigm like he had previously assumed. Masterfully satirical.


Batman: Ohhh. I get it now. Yeah, I guess that is pretty funny.

It dawns on the other socialites too. They all start agreeing with the professor's explanation.

Joker: Well when you put it that way...
The Joker falls over, dead. Everyone looks on in puzzlement.

Batman: You KILLED HIM?! (grabs Socialite by the collar) WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Socialite: Well, the Joker's whole existence was one big joke. I ruined him by explaining it.

Batman: You killed the joke by explaining it?

Socialite: Yes.

long pause

Socialite 2: I get it!

Lights Down