Chess skit: written by allister Andrew and chad Lights fade up on the rosettes and old guy 1 (OG1) and old guy 2 are facing each other on opposite juliets OG1: check mate OG2: well played OG1: see you same time next Sunday [Lights face down on rosettes and fade up on the main stage, the is a queue of people all dressed in black, facing teller with heads bowed] Teller: approach the teller please [gives rook something]Construction worker (rook): [idiomatic thank you to teller then moves of stage leaving through the back in a straight line] Teller: next please Madame Queen: [dressed in black flowing robes and jewels but not so much that it is evident she is the queen saunters towards the teller in a straight line potentially on roller blades] Teller: [hands something to the queen] have a good day Madame Queen:[saunters off] Teller: next please pawn: [dressed in black rags tilts head up and moves forward one step] Teller: sir?! Pawn:[takes another step] Teller: one more Pawn: [stays still] Teller: oh forget it. Next please, oh sir Richard. Please approach the teller Sir Richard (knight): [who is now directly behind the pawn, then jumps over the pawn and arrives at the counter] Teller: what can I… Sir Richard (knight): [takes a step to the side finishing his L shaped move] Damn it! [proceeds to move around the stage in a knight like manner and finds himself at the back of the queue] Blast! Teller: next please… Reverend Bishop: [cuts in from upstage] White King: [enters at back of the stage] All other pieces: [swivel and glare] White king: [takes one step] All other pieces:[move towards white king] Black king: [enters very casually] hey guys sorry I'm late. God it took so many turns to get here [then looks at white king] All other pieces: NO YOUR MAJESTY! Black and white kings: [look down and up at their position] Oh! |
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