2012‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Business Meeting

(Scene: board room , CEO is discussing the company with two executives, Jones and Carlson (older), and the son of the owner, Jamie)

CEO: Welcome to our first business meeting for 2012 . I'm sure you've all met Jamie, who's father is the majority shareholder of our company.

Jamie: Hello everyone! I'll to be pleased to hear how my father's empire is doing, I plan to be a hands-on man, just like him.

CEO: Indeed... As you all know we've started off this fiscal year on solid footing.

Jones:  Investments are up.

Carlson: And revenue is running at an all time high. Gentlemen, it seems the recession is over.

Jamie: Fantastic! My father will be pleased.

CEO (coughs) Well, in the last few weeks productivity in our offices has been way down, due to the actions of certain people (Looks at Jamie)


Jamie: (slight pause) Well go on man, whose fault is it?

CEO: Jamie, as favour to your father, and only because he owns this company, I allowed you to restructure the administration. And what did you do?

Jamie: Remind me.


CEO: You replaced all our office workers with bees!


Jamie: (seriously, as if he has done the greatest thing ever) Ah yes,  I replaced all our office workers, with bees.


CEO: Saying it like that does not make it a good thing.


Jamie: Sorry (sarcastically).  What's the problem?

CEO: What's the problem? They’re not human!  Now, I'm sure we are all in agreement that the bees must go.

Carlson: Indeed!


Jones: I quite like the bees.

CEO: You, What?

Jones: Well, there are some perks. Fresh honey every morning, and you don’t need to pollinate your own flowers.

Jamie: Hear, Hear!


Carlson: What nonsense!

CEO: Thank you Carlson. I’m glad I’m not the only sane one in here.

Carlson: Yes, call me old fashioned, but back in my day a man would pollinate his own flowers, and produce his own god dam honey.

CEO: For God's Sake… Bees are not suitable to run an office.




Jamie: But they’re worker bees!

CEO: I don’t care if they are highly industrious and sophisticated bears, they're not human. The bees need to go!

Carlson: Good Idea!

CEO: Thank you Carlson.


Carlson:  Yes, there’s an idea! Highly industrious and sophisticated bears running the production line!


Jones: We could pay them in honey!

Jamie: From the bees!


ALL but CEO:  Synergy!!!

CEO: (Sighs) How do we expect to profit if the entire company is run by bees?

Jones: The margins are astounding. We barely pay the bees anything.

CEO: Really? Well... I suppose that is good, but you’re forgetting one thing. I’m allergic to bees.


Jamie: Smith, putting aside your inherent racism towards bees, I don't believe you have the vision to lead Big Business into this new era. When I look at this company’s future, I don’t see you. I see BEES! FLOCKS OF BEES! BEES EVERYWHERE!  

CEO: Why do I bother…? It's like working with a bunch of monkeys.


Carlson: Monkey Executives! Brilliant Idea!


Jones: We could pay them in Bananas!


Jamie: From the bees!


ALL but CEO: Synergy!!!


(Executive start monkey-grooming each other. CEO crying into his desk)


(Lights down)