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*Budget Doomsday Cult

A Cult Leader, and several Cultists (we need a bunch of people in cloaks – only 2 talking roles among them – Brother Jeremiah and Brother Santos) stand around a spooky looking altar.
Leader: And on this day, the stars are aligned. The earth is in solstice and the darkness of an afflicted sun has befallen the world. Truly the elder gods are with us this day brothers. It is time. It is time to awaken our Dark God and wreak living hell upon the wretched mortals of this disgusting planet. (looks around) Where is Brother Nicodemus?
Clearing of Throats
Santos: Well ummm.
Jeremiah: You know how you sent him to make contact with Dread Cthulhu – the Lord of Madness and Leviathan of the Depths, The Dark god whose visage drives men insane?
Leader: Yes? What of it?
Santos: Well he went insane.
Leader: A minor setback. There is an entire multiverse filled with eldritch abominations to choose from. I am certain one world ending terror is much the same as the next. Fetch me the unclassifiables. It’s time to select another patron of the damned.
Santos: (with unclassifiables) We may have to look in the budget section.
Leader: What? Why? We have ample supplies of money – which will mean nothing when the immaterium of existence comes crashing about our plutonian shores.
Santos: Well we had money. Past tense. Brother Nicodemus managed all of our accounts.
Jeremiah: Why don't we just have a night in, save some money?
Leader: We are in a once in a lifetime alignment of cosmic bodies – we're going to summon some form of dark entity.
Santos: Tell me what you’re after and I’ll try my best to accommodate with the modified budget.
Leader: Right, so is there anyone along the lines of Dread Cthulhu – whose very contemplation for too long will drive the strongest of men to madness?
Santos: Well in our price range there’s Garry. He gives people who think about him a migraine. [starts rubbign head] Ow!
Leader: Terrible. What about Yog- Sothoth: The Lurker at the Threshold, The Key and the Gate, The All-in-One and One-in-All of limitless being and self.
Jeremiah: Sounds great!
Santos: Sounds expensive! Aha! Here’s one that is willing to be reimburse us for summoning costs if the deal involves at least one metric planet of intelligent life.
Jeremiah: What service! Who is it?
Santos: Azathoth. The Nuclear Chaos, The Demon Sultan, Devourer of Worlds the.... Blind Idiot God
Leader: Fantastic.
Jeremiah: Even I wouldn’t summon a blind idiot.
Santos: God! Blind. Idiot. God.
Jeremiah: Still.
Stab of scary music
Leader: Well that’s it. We missed the deadline. Hope you’re all happy – the world isn’t going to end in a flurry of madness and fear (sits on the floor. Pause. Leader grabs head) Ow. Ow. Owwww.
Santos: You’re thinking about Garry, aren’t you?
Leader: Yeah, let's run with him.

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