Eliza enters stage left, followed by Alex from stage right under what is obviously big white sheet doing ghostly things (waving arms, mostly).
ELIZA: Hi sweetie, how was your day?
ALEX: Horrible. I died! Now I’m a ghastly spectre for all eternity. Oooooooohhhh the pain, ooooooohhhh the sorrow!
ELIZA: Alex, you're not a ghost, you're just wearing a sheet.
ALEX: (monologue-ing) Oh, cruel is the life of a ghost! First I die, which isn’t as immaterial as Casper would have you believe, and now, my girlfriend is leaving me.
ELIZA: What?
(beat)
ALEX: (dramatic lament) And now, my girlfriend is leaving me!
ELIZA: I'm not -
ALEX: On account of me being a ghost.
ELIZA: Are you trying to break up with me?
ALEX: No! Are you trying to break up with me?
ELIZA: No.
ALEX: Because that would be okay.
ELIZA: You are!
ALEX: (monologue-ing) Oh, woe is me! Not even my true love could look past my ghostly chill and see the woman beneath.
ELIZA: But I still love you! (Desperately, as if it's her last hope) And I still love…making love to you.
ALEX: Wait, what? You want to have sex with a ghost? That’s gross!
ELIZA: I don’t care what you are. I love you!
ALEX: But…umm…I have no physical body!
ELIZA: Yes you do, I’ve been able to see your ankles this entire conversation.
ALEX: Well, umm, the thing about that is…
ALEX throws the obvious sheet over Eliza ALEX: I'm fucking your sister! (goes to run offstage and smashes into the wings)
LIGHTS DOWN. |