The Alien makes a loud, flashy entrance onto the stage. The Boss and Scientist are startled, but recover quickly. Alien: Greetings Earthlings. Scientist: It’s an honour to meet you-- Alien: We wish to understand your advances in primitive technology. Boss: Oh, you’ll be impressed by this. It’s a phone. You won’t believe it, we discovered them way back in 1884 - completely by accident - and now they’re the foundation of all connection, we-- Alien: I see. Scientist: Uh - um, well... Look at this! Electricity! Its the foundation of all Human Society. We started with burning things but we've moved on to using radioactive materials. It's really quite fascinating. Alien: (trying not to laugh) Riiight... Scientist: Oh come on, look at what we accomplished! A few centuries ago we didn't even know about science. Alien: (cuts off the Boss, bursting into laughter) You think there's a SCIENCE!? Boss: (stunned) Well... yes? Alien: Oh man, this is just adorable. I just can't... you guys are great. You're just great. Boss: (indignant) Just what do you mean by that?
Alien: Every bit of this "science"(Finger quotes)! It's us! It's all us, all along! We were just fucking with you guys! It was all just a joke! Scientist: …a joke.
Alien: Complete bullshit! Boss: (waves the scientific papers in the Alien’s face) How’s this all meant to work then? Boss: Evolution?! Alien: Just us throwing random parts in! Have you guys found the platypus yet? I did that, that was me. Scientist: Gravity? Alien: Just us holding you down.
Scientist: You mean... this whole time... Boss: (in shock) My entire career...! Scientist: …everything we’ve ever done in science is just this... alien magic?! Alien: Yup. Pretty much. Look, guys, I’ve got places to be. Oh and damn, I owe Larry 20 quid now. Can't believe you fell for this. You two have fun. I'm gonna go mess with the Pope now. Toodles. The Boss and Scientist watch as the Alien makes a flashy exit. Boss: (Looks around at the lab) But... but... (Cradles head in hands) Oh, shit. (Looks up at the Scientist) We’re done for. Scientist: (grabs Boss by the shoulders and shakes them) No! It’s going to be alright! We’re scientists, damn it! We swore an oath! We promised that no matter what, no matter how weird it might seem... Boss: ...that we’d always listen to the evidence, and we'd always be willing to change our minds! Let’s do this! They walk over to either side of the sign marked “The Institute of Science”. Scientist: Ready? Boss: One, two, three... They unfurl another sign over the first one, now reading “The Institute of Alien Magic”. ========== The sketch would work best placed just before the interval. During the interval, the audience would notice that the "Science Revue" signs outside have all been changed to "Alien Magic Revue". |
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