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ADF rewrite (this is not a joke) (well it is but only insofar as it is a comedy sketch)

Two SWAT-like characters (LEADER and PARTNER) are moving to stack up against a door. They halt stacked up with LEADER pressed against the frame of the door and PARTNER a meter or so away from LEADER. The two exchange a quick nod. PARTNER initiates a countdown from 3 using obvious hand signals – cuing LEADER to kick in the door. PARTNER moves into the room firing while LEADER covers him from the doorway.

PHYSICAL PART (two or three bad guys have been killed but PARTNER is now pinned behind cover under fire from a sniper. LEADER is still in the doorway but has participated in the firefight. PARTNER signals “sniper” to LEADER. LEADER and PARTNER pop from cover in unison and kill sniper.)


OTHER PHYSICAL SHIT I AIN'T SCRIPTING THAT I'LL LEAVE IT TO YOU GUYS CAUSE YOU'LL DO FIIIIINE

THEY THINK THE ROOM IS CLEAR THEY GO TO LEAVE, PARTNER STEPS ON PRESSURE PAD

BOSS:             Barney... I think... we have a situation

PARTNER:     No, boss, don’t tell me... please don’t...

BOSS:             voice breaking I’ve stepped on a mine

PARTNER:     NO!

BOSS:             Go on without me – you can save yourself if you get out in the next... thirty seconds

PARTNER:     I won’t leave you, Sir.

BOSS:             Don’t be a hero, Barney, just go!

PARTNER:     We have thirty seconds, Boss!

BOSS:             Twenty

PARTNER:     Twenty seconds until...

BOSS:             Until they drop the bass.

Music starts. (this song: this song at this particular timeBoth have a visceral reaction to the sound. PARTNER breaks down

PARTNER:     But, we had a dream, Boss. You and me, working together to stop dubstep. Partners til the end.

BOSS:             This is the end.

PARTNER:     It might not be, what if it’s a decoy?

BOSS:             It’s weapons-grade Skrillex, Barney. There’s no getting out of this.

Music increases

BOSS:             Listen to me, son. You have a full life ahead of you. A wife, a kid, get out of the game, spend your time with your family (might be too sad/too long pending length of music). Don’t mourn me. I go out doing what I love.

PARTNER:     You’re the bravest man I know, Boss.

BOSS:             Now GET OUT.

As PARTNER runs from the stage, the bass drops. BOSS krumps in agony.





~~~~~~

ALTERNATIVELY

[LEADER and SOLDIER move through a room. Gunfire is occasionally heard overhead. The two react to it. Over the course of 30 seconds to 1 minute, they advance to the middle of the room until LEADER steps on a mine. It emits an audible click. The two stare at it in horror. There's a moment of silence and Skrillex's First of the Year from 0:40 slowly fades in. They know what's coming. They don't have much time. They're too terrified to know what to do. The song's getting louder. LEADER signs at SOLDIER to save himself. SOLDIER refuses. He knows it can be okay. Somehow. But no. It can't. The song's reaching its climax and still getting louder. There's no time. They're still silent but at this point you couldn't hear them over the music anyway. It's peaking to a crescendo. SOLDIER knows it's useless. He runs, tears streaming down his face as the music reaches its dead climax and 

- "CALL 911 NOOWWWWWWW" - BWAMBOM GWEEEEEE DUDUDU GWEEE DADADA VREEEOW GWEEE DADADA VURROIOOOOOIIIII DRIIIIIIII 

Leader is blown away by unadulterated dubstep as he involuntarily krumps/seizures into oblivion with the most amazing physical comedy ever

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